Doubt...

This work plagues me about every other thought that goes through my head. As the new year approaches, I find March 16 (Emily's first day of school) coming all too quickly. Yesterday was probably the first day my husband and I have actually talked about her going to school. In doing this, a lot of points about the struggles that her, her teachers, me, and anybody else involved have been brought to my attention. The pains inside of me just seem to be getting deeper. The thoughts of why she had to have both Downs Syndrome and Diabetes is a very frequent question. Having one or the other would have been what I would now call simple...maybe not before all this happened, but definately now. If she didn't have Downs Syndrome, then I wouldn't feel the absolute need for her to enter school at this young age to get the therapy she needs because she wouldn't need it. Then, we could just simply wait til she turned 5 when she might possibly have a pump and be more equipped herself to take care of it. Without the Diabetes, I wouldn't feel the absolute uncertainty that I do right now that anybody is really ready for this. I think about how WHEN (I say when because there is no doubt that it will eventually happen) her sugar goes low at school, and how everything around her will have to stop in order to fix it. How can a parent expect an entire classroom to be haulted in order for the teacher to deal with their child? So, doubt has come on me. I don't know whether she is ready. I don't know whether the school is ready. I don't feel that I know much of anything right now other than I need answers from somewhere. I need the hurt that has come over me the past few days to go away so I can focus. The last few weeks have been rough anyway because her blood sugars have been all over the place. One meal it's high and the next it's low. We almost has a perfect day today, but the bedtime sugar check blew it. That's extremely stressful to deal with...especially when I have tried everything, and I feel like I am going in circles. Then I think about when this happens after she starts school...the questions just never end of how a teacher is going to deal with this and yet still take care of the other children in her class. Then of course comes the usual questions that I have been trying to answer from the beginning. How am I to function not knowing what is going on every minute of her day and not be the one that takes care of her day in and day out? How do I trust that everything that I have worked for the past 2 years will stay intact? Doubt...

Emily's Baby Steps!!!!...

OMG! Emily just walked all the way to the kitchen (with a little help from Mommy) behind her little walking vehicle that she got for Christmas! It was so sweet! She was picking up her feet a little while she was walking and everything! It's so great to see her coming along! Everytime she does something new, it's like witnessing a miracle! I hope it won't be too much longer that she can walk behind it all by herself, and then, hopefully, let go of it and take off through the house with no help at all! Hope everyone has a great Sunday!

Christmas recap and a few pictures...

Hey to all my blogger friends! Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas! We did around here. It's always fun around Christmas time with three kids. I can't wait for the day when Emily actually gets into it a litte more. She got lots of new stuff to help with her therapy. I think her favorite was the bubble machine. I love the smile that she gets when she sees all the bubbles. She loves the activity table that "Santa" brought her, too. It is doing exactly what I wanted it to do...making her stand up to play with it. :) Grandma bought her a little vehicle to walk and push around the house. We're gonna get started on working with that here in a few days when we get all rested and ready to start therapy back up again. I just hope all this new fun stuff that is supposed to help her gives her a little boost...gives me something to work with her some at home and still have fun with her.


Brooklyn, Emily, and Addalyn with their Paw Paw Mike


Steven reading the kids "The Night Before Christmas"



Emily in her new Christmas pajamas! We found out later her sugar was a little low...:(


Our Christmas paper pile :)

A few changes...

Hey to all of my blogger friends! I know it has been well over a month since my last post, but it has been super busy around here. As you may notice, I have changed the layout and title of my blog. I felt it needed a change from the old brown :) Anyways, I guess I need to do some catching up. Emily is still doing good. She learned the sign for "more" a couple of weeks ago. We just about jumped through the ceiling. I love that she is learning to communicate. We are waiting right now on the therapist to send us some more signs to be working on during Christmas holidays while there is no therapy.

We just got back from our vacation a few days ago. It was fun to be away from everything for a whole week, but of course you know that there are certain things that you just can't get away from such as Diabetes. We still had a good time getting out of the cabin and letting the girls enjoy the streets of Gatlinburg. My oldest, Brooklyn, even got to ice skate for a little while. Now, we're just getting ready for Christmas. We have a big dinner planned for tomorrow with my husband's Dad and girlfriend at our house. This is always so much fun to have them over and open presents from them on Christmas Eve. Then we get to see what Santa Clause is bringing. Brooklyn has really been into the Santa thing this year, making sure that we knew everything that Santa was gonna bring her cause she has been a good girl. lol! Gotta love her! I'm excited about all the stuff Emily is gonna get this year. I tried to get some fun stuff that related to the different types of therapy she is getting to try to give her a little extra time with some fun but educational toys....and maybe a bubble machine to work on Physical therapy with. :) That's always fun! After a big Christmas morning complete with presents and cinnamon rolls, it's off to Maw Maw and Paw Paw's house to have Christmas Day lunch and presents over there. Love Love Love Christmas!

Here's wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!