One of those days...

As is sit here and think about the events and the words that were spoken today, I can still feel the sadness that overwhelmed me earlier. We had Speech Therapy today, as we do every Wednesday. Today was a little difficult for me, though. See, I guess I have always had this fear that Emily would not be able to do things that normal children would do because she has Downs Syndrome. It's just something that I fight with. Over the last few months I have been able to curb that a little, and start to look at the bright side of things like the fact that I have a beautiful, happy little girl that I really believe can and will do anything and everything that she wants to do. Her wishes and wants may not be what we all envision everybody's dreams to be. So, most of the last few months I have been able to take what the therapists say, work with it, and move on. However, today...well it was just one of those days. I wasn't prepared for the words that were said today. To some, I know, it may not seem like such a big deal, and on a normal day, I probably would have just shook it off. At the end of the therapy session, the therapist was trying to explain some of the things that she would be working on strongly over the next few months, as they will be the only few months she has with her. During this conversation, she informed me, in the only way that she could, of how extremely far behind my baby girl is. Normal 3 year olds have about 1000 word vocabulary...Emily has a 3 word vocabulary on a good day. Then she starting asking me about us ever having neurological tests done on her. I tried to shut the ideas that were flooding my head as fast as I could because I knew if I let it run rampant, I would lose it right there in front of her. These two things sent me overboard today with sadness and a grieving heart for my little Emily today. As I said, it has been a while since things have hit me like this, so I am hoping that I am just having a bad day. I know I need to get it back together because I know that I love My Emily no matter what...the future is just unknown right now. With school looming on the horizon, it doesn't make these simple statements any less anguishing for me. I know that even right here on this blogging site that I am following that are going through so much worse than I could even imagine, and yet they are still going on. Sometimes this almost makes me feel bad for feeling the way that I do, but on days like this, I just can't seem to help it. Hoping for the comfort to come back...

Doing Great!

Hope everyone is doing good today! We are doing good right now. Emily's therapists are doing great with her! She's learning to communicate more from her Speech Therapist. We just have to work on those oral motor skills like sucking through a straw and pretty much anything else that has to do with her mouth. She's doing "The Wheels on the Bus" motions now. It's so cute! Me and her Special Instructor both just about had a fit when she did it. Everybody that sees her do it just thinks it is the cutest thing. She even tries to sing it. Physical therapy is going good, too. She's just blossoming right now, and I am so thankful that we have found these therapists. It seems that it is our time! This is good because we have a transition meeting scheduled for the 27th of this month. This is where we will talk about school...makes me almost shiver. I want her to go to school as soon as she can so she won't miss out on anything, but I want her walking before she goes to school, too. Then on the other hand, I know that day is going to be a traumatic day for me because I know that I will be putting her blood sugars into someone else's hands...that's a scary thought for me, but I know it's what is best for her. As the time flies by, it just gets closer and closer. My little baby is growing up, and I'm not quite sure I'm ready for that yet. She's always been especially special to me because of how close I came to losing her to the Diabetes, but once again...it's what is best for her, and eventually, we all have to let go of our babies, and my time is almost here. Lovin my little girl...

So Relieved....

We went for our first official PT appointment last Friday with the new PT. It was so wonderful! Emily didn't cry at all! She actually cried when we were fixing to leave! She just laughed and laughed and laughed at all the stuff the PT got her to do. She was playing and having a good time, but she was also doing some serious work. I'm so happy and relived about this because it has been such a burden on me to have to take Emily to PT and listen to her scream the entire time she was there. Some of the things that she enjoyed doing were sitting on top of a big ball bouncing. The therapist sat her up there and held her while she made her bounce and balance herself...this helped her work her trunk, which is Emily's biggest problem. The most fun thing she did was also on the ball. She held her up there while I blew bubbles at her and let her try to reach up and pop them. She just laughed the entire time. I got a little dizzy I blew bubbles so long, but it was so worth it to see her happy with her PT and actually getting in some good work. I know if this continues that it won't be too long, and I will get to see her walk. Anxious and waiting....