One of those days...

As is sit here and think about the events and the words that were spoken today, I can still feel the sadness that overwhelmed me earlier. We had Speech Therapy today, as we do every Wednesday. Today was a little difficult for me, though. See, I guess I have always had this fear that Emily would not be able to do things that normal children would do because she has Downs Syndrome. It's just something that I fight with. Over the last few months I have been able to curb that a little, and start to look at the bright side of things like the fact that I have a beautiful, happy little girl that I really believe can and will do anything and everything that she wants to do. Her wishes and wants may not be what we all envision everybody's dreams to be. So, most of the last few months I have been able to take what the therapists say, work with it, and move on. However, today...well it was just one of those days. I wasn't prepared for the words that were said today. To some, I know, it may not seem like such a big deal, and on a normal day, I probably would have just shook it off. At the end of the therapy session, the therapist was trying to explain some of the things that she would be working on strongly over the next few months, as they will be the only few months she has with her. During this conversation, she informed me, in the only way that she could, of how extremely far behind my baby girl is. Normal 3 year olds have about 1000 word vocabulary...Emily has a 3 word vocabulary on a good day. Then she starting asking me about us ever having neurological tests done on her. I tried to shut the ideas that were flooding my head as fast as I could because I knew if I let it run rampant, I would lose it right there in front of her. These two things sent me overboard today with sadness and a grieving heart for my little Emily today. As I said, it has been a while since things have hit me like this, so I am hoping that I am just having a bad day. I know I need to get it back together because I know that I love My Emily no matter what...the future is just unknown right now. With school looming on the horizon, it doesn't make these simple statements any less anguishing for me. I know that even right here on this blogging site that I am following that are going through so much worse than I could even imagine, and yet they are still going on. Sometimes this almost makes me feel bad for feeling the way that I do, but on days like this, I just can't seem to help it. Hoping for the comfort to come back...